It felt like I'm just masquerading.
I wanted to get rid of this feeling and actually feel pretty all the time.
Once I read article - something about unemployed people and process of looking for a job. It was written there it is very important to put yourself together even if you're just at home reading job announcements. So when you look in the mirror it doesn't make you depressed. Eliminate situation when you're wandering around the flat for weeks and everytime you look at yourself there's only one thought - I look like shit. Which means your confidence and happiness level drop.
So I found some solutions. Kimono - present from my uncle.