Wednesday, 13 May 2015

where have all the real men gone?

Since I remember I've always been in a relationship. I like it. Never thought it could make me less independent or limit me in any way. 
Even to explain myself to someone ... still find it amazing having someone who's so interested enough that bothers to ask and demands answers. 
I've always been there, working out problems, believing good things don't come easy, waiting and trying to compromise my needs. Because relationship is a hard hard work, isn't it?
So tried so many times. Always ready for commitment. Hoping for this strong, reliable man who doesn't fear to embrace being with ... someone over emotional and occasionally hysterical, torn by PMS, wanting to be loved and lovable = a woman.

I woke up today and got to this inevitable conclusion they don't exist anymore or never have. Someones wild imagination created this image that was just massively copied in female heads.

1. puff 

You are just supposed to start watching some great film and get cosy on the couch. So you're ready waiting for your man who has to roll a joint, smoke it then drink few beers on top of it and fall asleep in 15 min from press-play-moment. Your best underwear doesn't matter, you may as well wear a sack. In fact don't forget to do that. Save laundry.

Add some puff and deduct 50% of brain. 
Whenever any man appeared to be sexy, witty, intelligent and sharp while being stoned???
Not only it kills even the best perfume, it leaves mental side effects like agitation - and isn't it a real man who's supposed to be patient? - and paranoia - he becomes hysterical when politely asked to stop throwing socks behind the TV while sitting on the couch.
Why would anyone not only stink but even decrease their IQ and libido just for the sake of smoke?

2. gambling

With the other one... you try to watch a film in the evening at home after work, after dinner. Everything's lovely. No one is stoned or drunk. Play and sudden sound of shuffling chips make you realise he just pulled out another laptop and started playing poker online while watching a film in between anger explosions whenever there's a bad hand.

Soon you know there are three of us living together; you, him and poker. It starts to be a habit to sit with both of them while eating dinner, talking, drinking coffee in bed in the morning... you wonder how does he manage having shower without it..?

3. Last minute proposal

I knew I seen his face in my dreams many times before... 
that was something! After first dates he switched like schizophrenics who run out of meds. And stayed like this for next two years. Being there but making sure I know he doesn't care. Even after moving in together, visiting parents every week, holiday trips, plans with his family.. still mentioned periodically 'you're my lover not my girlfriend'.
This magic moment last 2 years. Then you're free to decide. To see things the way they are. Chemistry evaporates and when you felt tormented just move on. 
Two days after moving out, just like schizo back on meds again, he appeared outside my dentists, waited for me and proposed...

Always thought engagement ring says; we are so happy together. I love you, can't live without you! Please just stay and die with, before or after me! Or else I will never love again because I always knew You are the One.
but what it really is; Seriously? You're leaving? I'm so scared to be alone so if you weren't bluffing here you are, I beg you stay!

4. erotomaniac

How much sex can you have in one day? if good as much as possible! But how much can he has??? Ladies follow your intuition and when you feel it just check browsing history to find out his hobby; porn chat every morning, every evening, every day, every week, every month. Only the fact he has to be at work protects him from himself. 

Is live video sex and phone sex with others betrayal?
"What you doing baby? Wanking with this tanned lady there on the screen? Ok, so hurry, wash your hands, dinner on the table in five min!"

5. modern headaches and backaches

Three times so far I heard from a man 'I've never been into sex before'.
Let's make it clear. It doesn't mean: Wow! he never enjoyed with anyone. Now he does because he thinks I'm special.
What it really is: I'm surprised I have so much sex at the moment. It's unnatural, not sure if I like it. Let's go back to my other hobbies: puffing, gambling, drinking...

No solution here. Even morning sex is overrated; backaches, stomach pains, tiredness, hangovers, bad mood run in male family.
...unless you go for nr 4.
Choosing the worse evil is the key to happy relationships. 

6. happily ever after...

So you think everything's going to be fine as long as you're honest and clear about what you want in life and if he says 'me too' - and they always do - just to buy some time, you just got yourself unavoidable happy ending. 
Perhaps it's naive but definitively simple:
relationship becomes
or next relationship 
or a family beginning 
both broken, loving or soon to be broken or as many wish forever existing but it's as rare as two together wanting same things in the same time.

If you want to have a family even just to.. not to be found dead after a year time, half eaten by your cat or to have someone to spend Christmas with...
regardless all your reasons, perhaps getting together with a female friend and choosing adoption is a better shot ;)
Time is passing and wrong decisions are costly. 
My favourites are: 
no money (most useful catchphrase)
have to quit puff first
too soon (he's only 38)
ok, I do it but no marriage (isn't then sperm bank more efficient?)

You may think that mentally I'm only ten and that's fine.
If so, is that true;
if you can't get what you like, you like what you get. ?

Thursday, 15 May 2014

Dita legend frames

Can't look at yourself? Need a change?
I mean something more than just spending £200 on bras and knickers on sale...
There are only few things you can do; change your hair colour, do Botox or buy new frames
Lady in fancy optician salon tried to accuse me of wearing blank lenses but quickly I won this battle. -0,5 and -0,75 with -1 astigmatism in one eye. Yes!!!!!!

I thought stick to what you know..Dior cd 3207

So decided at first to get what I already have just in different color. Old reliable frame that's getting cheaper and cheaper facing end of production line.

Or dolce gabbana dg 3071 that I used as my sunglasses. 
Maybe white? Pink? Just to make me look even more suspicious..

And then suddenly after few weeks Rhonda Byrne with her "secret" brought me Dita von teese frames!!! Immediately in some sick state of extase started to research the net, photos and calling around all shops in London. 
I run around london like crazy shooting selfies since that's the only way how you can find out about yourself and frames.
Definitively recommend large wine before so others get drained to your good aura and propose to shot photos of you. Everyone.. Staff, people shopping...


One lady run out after me just to tell me "even if it cost fortune take it!!!"
So decided Dita Velour. Have no idea why everywhere they tried to sell it for 430-460 + lenses and first shop I went to offered me £340 and lenses for free in special offer.

£ 340 + free lenses with antiscratch and uvblock
additional £45 and will get you self cleaning... (what?)

They did try to convince me I need self cleaning ones for £45 already half priced but No.
Which color?? A little bit here, a little bit there and you know it.

Someone in the eye company informed me that dior and all those fancy brands are simply a shit. Produced in China from cheap materials with printed sign made in Italy where someone probably only put a tiny screw after frames arrive from Asia just to say we made it here. It gets easily damaged, distorted, and goes out of production quickly. It's a shit.
I said but I have dior...
Yes, I know- said gently...
Offered me to make Dita velour in nocolor means pure crystal for only £300.
Or any other shape or colour since they produce own frames. Not bad!! Something to think of if you want to go crazy or recreate vintage.

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Capri Pedal Pushers

Hard to distinguish one from the other.
What according to Vivien of Holloway is pedal pushers is Capri according to Wikipedia and the other way around.
Most likely VOH is simply wrong.
I did buy grey VOH pedalpushers in my apparently rare size since it took me a year or so to get it in quite neutral color. 

The problem is; it's cotton which is good and bad because very quickly it gets creased.
Waist is tight but leg trousers are too wide for my taste.

(red patent leather calvin klein flats, trashy diva ginger jacket, red VOH wide belt, pink cotton gingham shirt, bobbie jerome velvet clutch bag)

The only trousers I'd like to try are cigarette pants from Freddies of pine wood

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

1950s Rembrandt and tailoring

It's been a long time....
been here and there, mostly at some point of my life and few places as well
But I'm back now


Still spending money like crazy on vintage slips, petticoats, bags and dresses and my new hobby:
paying for tailoring my clothes !!!

Must say took me a while to give it a try.
So basically if you simply don't want to buy a new one, give your old one to a tailor.
My dressmaker is terribly expensive but it's only because I'm lazy and have her in my working place.
So nice to be able to afford it... being lazy I mean.

bought on eBay £18
Yes!!! for free!!!
genuine 1950s Rembrandt - one of my favorite 

...and there was a problem. Can you see those weird triangles, kind of hip extensions?
Perhaps back then when this crispy taffeta - the dress doesn't stretch a bit - was still crispy it made sense but when I put it on looked like drunk and creased 80's mad lady.

So my unappreciated me as a regular customer expensive dressmaker estimated:
  • decolletage seams reinforcement
  • removing those hips and creating nice line
  • back widening using fabric taken from hip area
  • sleeves shortening to avoid fabric sticking to elbow area and tearing the back
  • adjusting in waist
  • changing the zip
TOTAL: £45

 (stockings black point heel GIO... im wearing 9, Miss L Fire Cinderella black)

So before wearing it for the first time the dress unexpectedly disappeared in the flat during floor changing.
When she - dressmoneydrainingmaker - asked me have I worn it yet... and I said

-No, I lost it but hopefully in my flat. Can't find it for two months now. So angry about it.
-You're angry !!!!!! What do you want me to say!!! So much work!!! - and money I paid you, I thought, so as far I'm concerned I could even burn it without remorse for this price- You have to find it!!! Keep looking!!!!!!
She made me feel guilty so I found it among old paints and brushes in my 'shed'.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

A bit of Class and Glamour under the Christmas Tree

Christmas is coming! It's time to work on  our self improvement. Especially for those who like to be lazy and mobilize only for a reason. 
Let's go back to the past, to those golden days!

Let's promise ourselves larger dose of glamour - since more is always better than less - and more satisfaction from life.

Especially nowadays when all values disappear with a blink of an eye. Women wander around the streets basically naked, people have sex on the side walk (yes, strange London streets at 4am) and art of casual conversation is dying. 
Maybe the art of any conversation or rather art of thinking vanishes.... 
It just happened I met a girl who's name didn't stick to my brain, unfortunately, who got this strange need to talk to me. She approached me with a question:
- How do you do your hair?
I didn't have time, willingness and found it boring but still I answered.
- Your hair is so damaged, it looks so bad, no shine at all. I !!! take care of my hair very much that's why it's so nice besides I don't want to become bald. It will fall out.
And she disappeared.

Perhaps it's my environment or could it be me?
If yes, could it be 'Dave' my workmate? Random guy asked him: 
- Are you Dave? 
- No, I'm not. 
- Are you sure? You look just like Dave. 
- Who is Dave anyway?
- You know; this fat guy.

However now when I think of it... I had (I'd like to emphasize Had) a friend, lady G., who as my guest, under my roof, using my electricity and hospitality practised the same art of conversation. Once, during London trip day, she asked me.. 
-So, what kind of perfumes do you use?
After very detailed pictured I built for her including Where, How much and Why I love so much Agent Provocateur she just simply replied:
- Because you smell like an old lady.

I've been thinking about myself What do I do wrong? Am I not aggressive enough? too patient? ...or really...?
But then if you've ever experienced such thing and have doubts just look at this persons life:
depression, failure, complexes or - simple explanations always work - stupidity. I admit it warms me up from inside and brings sentimental memories from Denmark that is living it's own life fortunately without me and ... I smile.
I know, it all starts with parents, so how can you blame them.
Let's promise ourselves (hopefully - They will do as well) something no one can buy or receive; 

more Class for next year.

Savoir vivre is French and means living a good life while staying elegant and smart. (noun)

And let's remember - the art of saying Get lost is as well important.

Monday, 12 November 2012

Doing Blonde

"I color my own hair, too. I hate beauty salons. I just hate them. I hate them because I hate making appointments for something else, another appointment, and I hate spending the money. I like to have my hair freshly dyed every two weeks without fail, and I like to color on my own time while I’m multitasking. Plus, black hair is easy; if you do streaks and highlights it’s different."
Same as Dita I hate appointments and spending money for something I can perfectly well or even better do at home. I'll never get to british pedicurist again simply because HeRe they do like to keep nails from quite to very long and last time when this nice lady told me to put my sandals on, shyly I said 'I think it's not dry yet.' and 5min later I was marching home. Never!! Ever! go to Bonds Beauty Salon in Northampton - 25 The Drapery. When I got home I had to do it all over again. 

I couldn't stand waiting period for waxing appointments. How hairy you have to become!!!
And what about brazilian waxing? Twice I was send home because there was nothing to work on.
Terrible and undignified.
On top of it you spend a lot of money.

I'm not saying there are no excellent professionals, but you need to go through many rotten tomatoes (never ever go to hattbox hairdressing on Kettering Road in Northampton, unless you want to find my back hair that felt off and maybe is still somewhere there) to find the right one and if your excellent hairdresser dies (for example...) you start the whole searching cycle from the beginning. 
I already lost major part of my back hair before I found So Great Matrix studio: Christian Wiles Hairdressing in Northampton. After I discovered there Harry-the-Cypriot with his bushy, black, curly (?) hair that he treats as his private experimental lab, I had to leave Northampton behind. And after I decided with myself I can travel, why not?! it appeared my days off are usually Sundays and Mondays just as Harrys. 
So getting back to the point.

I am the best service for myself, reliable and cost free, always available for depilating, waxing, manicure, pedicure, eyebrows regulation and darkening even brazilian waxing - yes, it is possible.
I know myself and I know no one will do it better.
And how I hate to pay for it!

I understand that nowadays women just can't or refuse to do things around themselves - sometimes even the most basic. 

But just because the world is going down doesn't mean there are no ladies who can keep their own glamour in shape.
So finally I made very significant progress...for the first time I dyed -me- my own -by myself- hair.
I dyed my hair blonde.

As I rarely see the light I still don't know how this colour looks like in daytime but so far so good.

You see, I've been told by a hairdresser so many times that it's impossible to do it yourself and even smallest attempt may leave you with green hair, yellow hair or no hair at all.
That is why most of my life I spend flashing with my dark roots.
I've always experienced highlights that are the most expensive option you can get. In UK for medium hair you'll pay 100-150 GBP excluding toner, cut, drying, styling, conditioning and so on, of course! So it's not only the most durable process but the cheapest (for salons) as well as destructive since hair tend to break.

I started to gather all informations. Mostly what I found was the question 'I have this hair dye, what kind of developer do I use?' and the answer 'you won't be able to do it yourself anyway (implication: you're armless or brainless) and your hair will fall off. Professional products can be used only by professionals (developer and hair dye mix mystery: 3 times right and 4 times left) and you're definitively not the one so get lost. Besides you have ugly roots. With love. A hairdresser.'

Until I discovered Blond Bunny who is a blonde obsessed lady with professional hairdressing experience. She shares email address so you can ask her any questions and send photos. 
Ladies, you wish you could speak Polish now!
At first I didn't hope for an answer but then I got one a day after.
She put me on the right direction, told me what kind of Matrix dye I should use and what kind of developers. What not to even think of and precisely how much time to keep it on. 
And everything advised in the way I lOve the most: with bursting confidence. 
Only one conclusion: She knows what she's saying.

I already knew shades I wanted:
Matrix SoColor 10N mixed half/half with 10G.
Previous one made by Harry was 11AA but I found it maybe too yellowish...
That's actually the Creamy Blonde recipe from MatrixFamily but used with different developers.
As I like all cool colours I wanted to get a bit different blonde shade and perhaps it appeared to be too warm but hey! now... Sky is the limit!!!
or rather online shopping in Pak Cosmetics.
I can mix and test.

Before I decided to do the full head I made some try out on a piece. As you see it was already tragic and I had only two options: 
-wait another month for Northampton trip or 
- just do it.
It was difficult to put it on at the back of the head but since now on I only expect improvement.

I just need to find out how to move glycolic peels to my Home SPA...